The Breaking Point: Lessons for Helpers on the Importance of Cooperation and Professionalism
As helpers, your role is not just about completing tasks—it’s about being a trusted member of the household who contributes to its harmony and smooth functioning. Recently, one of our fellow helpers found herself in a challenging situation that ultimately led to her employer deciding to send her back to Myanmar. While our agency is actively trying to intervene—especially given the current difficult conditions in Myanmar—this case serves as an important learning opportunity for all helpers.
Let’s explore what happened, understand the scope of expectations under Singapore’s Ministry of Manpower (MOM) regulations, and discuss how you can avoid similar situations.
What Happened?
During a family trip to Malaysia for Chinese New Year, the helper accompanied her employer to visit their extended family. While the employer did not assign her excessive or unreasonable tasks, they naturally expected her to assist with basic responsibilities that fall within the scope of supporting the family. Unfortunately, her behaviour during the trip caused significant embarrassment for the employer in front of their loved ones. Here are some examples:
Lack of Initiative: After finishing her meal, she was asked to wipe the table but only cleaned the portion she had used. This lack of shared responsibility left a poor impression.
Idleness and Disengagement: Instead of being attentive or offering help, she was often seen sitting idly, lying down, or even sleeping. In a social setting like a family gathering, this behavior reflected poorly on both her and the employer.
Defensive Attitude: When given tasks, she responded defensively, claiming that her friend told her she only needed to focus on childcare when working overseas. This mindset created friction and mistrust.
Avoiding Simple Chores: During visits to relatives, she seemed reluctant to help with light chores, such as tidying up or assisting with meal preparations. Family members also noticed her frequently using her phone while caring for the baby, which raised concerns about her focus and dedication.
Actually the helper has since shown drastic improvement in her performance, however the damage was already done. The embarrassment caused during the trip was so severe that the employer decided to terminate her employment and send her back to Myanmar upon finding her replacement. Our agency is currently intervening to explore alternatives, but this situation highlights how critical it is to meet expectations from the start.
Lessons for Helpers: Understanding Your Role and Responsibilities
1. Scope of Assistance Under MOM Regulations
Under Singapore’s Ministry of Manpower (MOM) regulations, your primary role is to assist the employer’s family within reasonable limits. This includes tasks related to childcare, household chores, and other duties agreed upon in your contract. While employers must comply with MOM guidelines and cannot assign excessive or unreasonable work, they may reasonably expect you to help with light tasks during special occasions or trips. For example:
Wiping the dining table after meals.
Helping to tidy up common areas.
Assisting with simple meal preparations or cleaning up afterward.
These tasks are not excessive—they are part of assisting the employers, especially when traveling with the family.
Key Takeaway: Always be proactive and willing to assist with tasks that fall within the scope of supporting the employer’s family. Remember, your actions reflect not only on you but also on the employer in social settings.
2. First Impressions Matter
The trip to Malaysia was meant to be a time for bonding and celebration, but the helper’s behavior created awkward and embarrassing moments for the employer. Even though she improved later, those initial impressions stuck with the employer and influenced their decision.
Key Takeaway: Be mindful of how your behavior is perceived, especially in front of family and friends. Taking initiative and showing willingness to help can go a long way in building trust and respect.
3. Avoid Excuses and Defensiveness
When asked to perform tasks, responding defensively or making excuses (e.g., “My friend said I only need to do childcare”) can damage your relationship with the employer. Flexibility and a positive attitude are essential to maintaining harmony in the household.
Key Takeaway: Approach tasks with a cooperative mindset. If something feels unclear or unreasonable, communicate respectfully rather than reacting defensively.
4. Stay Focused and Dedicated
Using your phone excessively while caring for the baby or avoiding simple chores can make the employer feel disrespected and undermined. Distractions like these can lead to accidents or neglect, which no employer wants to risk.
Key Takeaway: Prioritize your responsibilities at all times. Whether you’re caring for children, assisting with chores, or simply being present, staying focused shows professionalism and reliability.
5. Proactivity is Key
Employers value helpers who take initiative without being asked. Sitting idly or waiting for instructions can create the impression that you’re disinterested or lazy, which can harm your reputation.
Key Takeaway: Look for opportunities to contribute, even if it’s something small like clearing dishes or straightening cushions. Being proactive demonstrates your commitment to the family’s well-being.
Why This Matters: The Employer’s Decision to Send Her Back
The incident resulting employer’s decision to send the helper back to Myanmar was not made lightly. The embarrassment caused during the trip was so profound that it overshadowed any improvements she made later. While our agency is doing everything possible to intervene—given the challenging conditions in Myanmar—this situation underscores how important it is to meet expectations from day one.
Final Thoughts: Prevention Over Cure
As helpers, your success depends not only on your skills but also on your attitude and professionalism. Employers hire you to support their family and maintain harmony in the household, especially during special occasions or trips. By understanding the scope of your responsibilities under MOM regulations and demonstrating a proactive, cooperative mindset, you can build strong, lasting relationships with your employers.
Here are some actionable tips to keep in mind:
Always take initiative and assist with tasks that fall within the scope of supporting the family.
Maintain a positive attitude and avoid making excuses or being defensive.
Stay focused on your responsibilities and minimize distractions like phone use.
Be mindful of how your behavior reflects on the employer in social settings.
By applying these lessons, you can avoid situations where even drastic improvement isn’t enough to salvage your position. Let’s strive to be ambassadors of professionalism and reliability in every household we serve.
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